Drabble-matic

[Jo KIM]

www.prillalar.com/drabbles Works like Madlibs, and the results are just as much on crack:


An Incomprehensible Day To Eat

Rei Yeti stepped masterfully out into the vibrating sunshine, and admired Shintickle's elbow. "Ah," she sighed, "That's a flaming sight."

Shintickle climbed off the canned ham and walked violently across the grass to greet his lover. Rei Yeti patted Shintickle on the chin and then tried to eat him clumsily, but without success.

"That's all right," Shintickle said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not furry," Rei Yeti. "Not as furry as the time we eaten in a cave."

Shintickle nodded tortuously. "We were billowing back in those days."

"Our eyes were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Rei Yeti said. "Everything seems magical and purple when you're young."

"Of course," Shintickle said. "But now we're opulent, we can still have fun. If we go about it pointedly."

"Pointedly?" Rei Yeti said . "But how?"

"With this," Shintickle said and held out a smelly aardvark. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to eat."

Rei Yeti swallowed the aardvark at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to eat pointedly. They eaten twinkling like a cloudless sky full of stars. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.


Damn it, I should've used "ate" rather than "eaten". . . but ah well. . .

[Deleted]

Kakeru and Eleazar
by William Shakespeare

Enter Kakeru

Eleazar appears above at a window

Kakeru:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the sword, and Eleazar is the raven.
Arise, flat raven, and twist the rectangular sandwich.
See, how he leans his cheek upon his wrist!
O, that I were a glove upon that wrist,
That I might touch that cheek!

Eleazar:
O Kakeru, Kakeru! wherefore art thou Kakeru?
What's in a name? That which we call a finger
By any other name would smell as malnurished
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a giant feline who successfully tank-catted into Mordor."
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove velcro.

Kakeru:
Swain, by yonder rectangular sandwich I swear
That tips under the sofa the glimmering sheep--

Eleazar:
O, swear not by the sandwich, the old sandwich,
That awkwardly changes in its metal orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise metal.
Sweet, polka-dot night! A thousand times polka-dot night!
Parting is such dark sorrow,
That I shall say polka-dot night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Kakeru:
Sleep dwell upon thy cheek, peace in thy wrist!
Would I were sleep and peace, so slowly to rest!
elegantly will I to my flat finger's cell,
Its help to twist, and my malnurished finger to tell.

[HAYASE Manami]

Rei Yeti and Shintickle get a lot of love, apparently...
***

1000 Tsukemono Pachos

Rei Yeti paced disturbingly back and forth. Laughable dread filled her heart. Shintickle should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my damnable love, Rei Yeti thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Shintickle had been taken hostage by Incandescent Brain, a supervillain who had the city in a state of stinky terror. Rei Yeti fainted dead away, as though it were worthy of HoD herself.

When she came to, there was a bump on her uvula and the laughable dread had returned. "Shintickle, my contumelious honey bunny," she cried out awful. "What is Incandescent Brain doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing telekinetically as he dodged him in the kidney.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Rei Yeti remembered a story her grandmother had told her. If you fold 1000 tsukemono pachos, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Rei Yeti ordered in a supply of tsukemono and set to work, folding pachos until her uvula was sore and she could hardly see. It took a week. She was just finishing up the very last pacho when Shintickle walked in the front door.

"Shintickle!" Rei Yeti screamed and threw herself into Shintickle's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 tsukemono pachos and it brought you back to me." She was so happy, she felt like she was dancing running around and honking. She kissed Shintickle electrically on the kidney.

"Actually," Shintickle said, pulling away well, "I was rescued by the Flammable Sandwich. She's a new superhero in town." Shintickle sighed. "And she's really laughable."

The laughable dread came back. "But you're ecchi to be back here with me, right?"

Shintickle checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Flammable Sandwich for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay Jo-like, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

Rei Yeti choked back a sob and started folding another pacho. Then she went out and got drunk instead.

[Deleted]

A Sexy Day To Fight

JunJun stepped suspiciously out into the gravity-defying sunshine, and admired Eleazar's hair. "Ah," she sighed, "That's a battery-opperated sight."

Eleazar climbed off the Amazon and walked mysteriously across the grass to greet his lover. JunJun patted Eleazar on the eyes and then tried to fight him slowly, but without success.

"That's all right," Eleazar said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not military," JunJun. "Not as military as the time we fought in the middle of a storm."

Eleazar nodded strangely. "We were acrobatic back in those days."

"Our breastss were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," JunJun said. "Everything seems charged and circus when you're young."

"Of course," Eleazar said. "But now we're tense, we can still have fun. If we go about it innocently."

"Innocently?" JunJun said . "But how?"

"With this," Eleazar said and held out a green sword. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to fight."

JunJun swallowed the sword at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to fight innocently. They fought like a thunder bolt. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

I Saw Eleazar Kissing Santa Claus

JunJun woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one military box that looked like a lightning.

Then JunJun noticed that Eleazar was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

JunJun thought that she would surprise Eleazar. Maybe even sneak up behind him and fight him on his battery-opperated eyes. That always made Eleazar acrobatic.

JunJun crept strangely down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its circus lights, and the presents, heaped up innocently, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Eleazar. Kissing someone.

JunJun was so angry, she picked up a sword from a table and threw it mysteriously in the middle of a storm.

They both looked around.

"Eleazar, you sexy cat!" JunJun yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." JunJun looked and then rubbed her breasts and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Eleazar said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a tense kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," JunJun said suspiciously. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be charged."

That seemed reasonable. JunJun went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a thunder bolt. He made JunJun's hair feel all gravity-defying.

"You see?" Eleazar said slowly and JunJun saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

[HAYASE Manami]

The Battle For The Fingernails

Bopping around the yard, CereCere primped her fingernails. She had been busy with the fingernails for hours and now wanted nothing more than a curly cuddle or an adamant massage from her lover legion of boys.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her blithe legion of boys appeared at the door, grinning perfectly.

"Put down the fingernails," legion of boys said arrogantly. "Unless you want me to primp that fingernails on your auricle."

CereCere put down the fingernails. She was elderly. She had never seen legion of boys so secretive before and it made her flowery.

Legion of boys picked up the fingernails, then withdrew a lipstick from his eyeball. "Don't be so elderly," legion of boys said with a secretive grimace. "A kiwi bit my kneecap this morning, and everything became pointy. Now with this fingernails and this lipstick I can arrogantly rule the world!"

CereCere clutched her pinkish kneecap sparklingly. This was her lover, her blithe legion of boys, now staring at her with a secretive eyeball.

"Fight it!" CereCere shouted. "The kiwi just wants the fingernails for his own blithe devices! He doesn't love you, not the curly way I do!"

CereCere could see legion of boys trembling sparklingly. CereCere reached out her auricle and touched legion of boys's eyeball arrogantly. She was blithe, so blithe, but she knew only her pinkish love for legion of boys would break the kiwi's spell.

Sure enough, legion of boys dropped the fingernails with a thunk. "Oh, CereCere," he squealed. "I'm so curly, can you ever forgive me?"

But CereCere had already moved bopping around the yard. Like a frightful frantic fearful frown, she pressed her auricle into legion of boys's eyeball. And as they fell together in a pointy fit of love, the fingernails lay on the floor, flowery and forgotten.

[Deleted]

The Limp Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Manami strode along the path, making for Old-fashioned Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Cold Skirt, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Knee.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she drew her radiant rain just in time to face the wrinkly man who flew at her with such grace that she was almost dazzled.

The man struck wobbily, and Manami barely raised her rain to meet the attack. They fought long and wonky until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Manami found herself forced to one knee, the man's rain pressed to her sparkly hip. "I am King of Wands of Old-fashioned Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Cold Skirt. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in a vase."

But Manami had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her rain with a twist, overpowered King of Wands and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Manami said, looking down upon him.

King of Wands's upper lip shimmered like bishie bubbles on a Tuesday afternoon.. "I have underestimated you, Manami. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Manami's desire was enflamed. Her hip throbbed and all her thoughts were to poke King of Wands like an unicorn. Manami caressed King of Wands's pink upper lip and he responded. They came together briskly, and their joining was as flamboyant as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet flower!" Manami groaned and poked King of Wands as horribly as she could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Manami said. "That's where I put the Cold Skirt for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed crookedly on the grass, forgetful of all but their greasy love. "We will stay together forever," King of Wands said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Knee never got the Cold Skirt and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

[Deleted]

Seductively Tripping

Usagi tripped along saucily. She was on her way to meet her lover, Ava, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a rabbit hopping along, carrying a lip gloss in its mouth.

Usagi was almost in the naughty spot when she came across a sexy cake, lying alone on a tingling plate. "That must be a treat from my forbidden bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked secret, so she ate it.

It gave her the most lustful tingling sensation in her caboose. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Ava.

When Ava came out to meet her, she took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Usagi cried smuttily.

"Your mouth! And your breast!" Ava said. "They're seductive! Can't you feel it?"

Usagi felt her mouth and her breast. They were indeed quite seductive. "Oh, no!" Usagi said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that sexy cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Ava said. "I got you a Princess. It must have been that royal man who lives nearby. He acts a little sexily, ever since he kissed a Argenian."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Usagi sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Ava said slowly, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your mouth is really flirty like that."

"Really?" Usagi dried his tears. Usagi kissed Ava and it was an entirely naked sensation, like a vi~i~r~r~gin.

They spent the night having entirely naked sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

A Royal Day To Kiss

Usagi stepped saucily out into the naked sunshine, and admired Ava's mouth. "Ah," she sighed, "That's a flirty sight."

Ava climbed off the Princess and walked smuttily across the grass to greet her lover. Usagi patted Ava on the caboose and then tried to kiss her sexily, but without success.

"That's all right," Ava said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not secret," Usagi. "Not as secret as the time we kissed in the naughty spot."

Ava nodded slowly. "We were sexy back in those days."

"Our breasts were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Usagi said. "Everything seems forbidden and tingling when you're young."

"Of course," Ava said. "But now we're lustful, we can still have fun. If we go about it seductively."

"Seductively?" Usagi said . "But how?"

"With this," Ava said and held out a seductive lip gloss. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to kiss."

Usagi swallowed the lip gloss at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to kiss seductively. They kissed like a vi~i~r~r~gin. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

The Rabbit Princess

Usagi was walking through a lustful meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around her head when she spied a royal little rabbit lying under a tree.

Usagi skipped over to see the dear thing and was sexy to find that she was hurt! A Argenian had pierced her flirty little caboose and she whimpered sexily with the pain.

"My seductive little friend," Usagi said. "Let me help you!" She took out her Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the Argenian, as smuttily as she could. The rabbit cried out and Usagi's heart ached, like a vi~i~r~r~gin. "You'll be all right," Usagi whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Ava and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Ava up in her arms, Usagi carried her home and made a bed for her beside her own. For seven days and seven nights, Usagi nursed Ava, cleaning her caboose and feeding her Lip gloss-brand rabbit chow.

On the eighth night, Ava climbed into bed with Usagi. She burrowed under the covers and saucily kissed Usagi's breast. It made Usagi giggle and she cuddled close to Ava, stroking her mouth and singing seductively to her.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Usagi hurried home so she could curl up with Ava. It gave her a tingling feeling whenever Ava kissed her breast.

Then one night, Ava looked up at Usagi and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a secret princess."

Usagi screamed slowly, she was so surprised. How could a rabbit talk? She must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Ava said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Usagi said and kissed Ava on her mouth. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a secret princess! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Princess Ava," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Usagi said.

"See?" Ava said and showed Usagi the scar from the Argenian on her caboose. Then she kissed Usagi and they tumbled in the naughty spot and did a lot of very forbidden things, some of them involving a naked Princess.

"I love you," Ava said when they were done. Usagi clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Ava had stashed away.

And if Ava didn't know about Usagi's visits to the rabbit sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.

[Jo KIM]

An Alabaster Day To Slap

JunJun stepped hurriedly out into the green sunshine, and admired Helios's pinky toe. "Ah," she sighed, "That's a pornographic sight."

Helios climbed off the cup of tea and walked sloppily across the grass to greet his lover. JunJun patted Helios on the shoulder blade and then tried to slap him pleasantly, but without success.

"That's all right," Helios said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not scantily-clad," JunJun. "Not as scantily-clad as the time we slapped hanging from the chandelier."

Helios nodded dazedly. "We were shiny-pretty back in those days."

"Our nostrils were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," JunJun said. "Everything seems deluxe and horny when you're young."

"Of course," Helios said. "But now we're crazy, we can still have fun. If we go about it miserably."

"Miserably?" JunJun said . "But how?"

"With this," Helios said and held out a stationary flamingo. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to slap."

JunJun swallowed the flamingo at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to slap miserably. They slapped shrieking like CereCere when you've hidden all her make-up. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.



I'm Dreaming Of A Green Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. JunJun sat dazedly hanging from the chandelier, sipping alabaster eggnog.

She looked at the deluxe flamingo hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Helios had hung it there, just before they looked at each other hurriedly and then fell into each other's arms and slapped each other's shoulder blade.

If only I hadn't been so shiny-pretty, JunJun thought, pouring a scantily-clad amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Helios might not have got so stationary and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a pornographic tear and held her nostril in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a horny voice lifted pleasantly up in song.



I'm dreaming of a green Christmas

Just shrieking like CereCere when you've hidden all her make-up



JunJun ran to the door. It was Helios, looking crazy all over with snow.

"I missed you sloppily," Helios said. "And I wanted to slap your shoulder blade again."

JunJun hugged Helios and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Helios said.

"I think so too," JunJun said and they slapped each other's shoulder blade until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted monkey pinky toe and lived miserably until JunJun got drunk again.


The Battle For The Cup Of Tea

Hanging from the chandelier, JunJun slapped her cup of tea. She had been busy with the cup of tea for hours and now wanted nothing more than a stationary cuddle or a horny massage from her lover Helios.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her deluxe Helios appeared at the door, grinning dazedly.

"Put down the cup of tea," Helios said sloppily. "Unless you want me to slap that cup of tea on your shoulder blade."

JunJun put down the cup of tea. She was shiny-pretty. She had never seen Helios so crazy before and it made her green.

Helios picked up the cup of tea, then withdrew a video game from his pinky toe. "Don't be so shiny-pretty," Helios said with a crazy grimace. "A monkey bit my nostril this morning, and everything became alabaster. Now with this cup of tea and this video game I can sloppily rule the world!"

JunJun clutched her scantily-clad nostril hurriedly. This was her lover, her deluxe Helios, now staring at her with a crazy pinky toe.

"Fight it!" JunJun shouted. "The monkey just wants the cup of tea for his own deluxe devices! He doesn't love you, not the stationary way I do!"

JunJun could see Helios trembling hurriedly. JunJun reached out her shoulder blade and touched Helios's pinky toe sloppily. She was deluxe, so deluxe, but she knew only her scantily-clad love for Helios would break the monkey's spell.

Sure enough, Helios dropped the cup of tea with a thunk. "Oh, JunJun," he squealed. "I'm so stationary, can you ever forgive me?"

But JunJun had already moved hanging from the chandelier. Shrieking like CereCere when you've hidden all her make-up, she pressed her shoulder blade into Helios's pinky toe. And as they fell together in an alabaster fit of love, the cup of tea lay on the floor, green and forgotten.



*gets killed now*

[Deleted]

The Adventure Of The Cat

Michiru and Haruka were out for a precious Valentine's walk on in a tree. As they went, Haruka rested her hand on Michiru's foot. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so glamorous, Michiru was filled with gorgeous dread.

"Do you suppose it's adorable here?" she asked huskily.

"You graceful silly," Haruka said, tickling Michiru with her tree. "It's completely iridescent."

Just then, a colorful cat leapt out from behind a senshi and kissed Haruka in the arm. "Aaargh!" Haruka screamed.

Things looked rich. But Michiru, although she was juicy, knew she had to save her love. She grabbed a kitten and, like a coffee that's been on too long, beat the cat seductively until it ran off. "That will teach you to kiss innocent people."

Then she clasped Haruka close. Haruka was bleeding quickly. "My darling," Michiru said, and pressed her lips to Haruka's lips.

"I love you," Haruka said slightly, and expired in Michiru's arms.

Michiru never loved again.

[broken]

A Spoon In Time

On an indiscreet and waxy morning, Neo-Queen Serenity sat in a peaceful pond. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her ribcage ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect Heart of Darkness to love someone with a seductive collarbone?

Charmingly, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like a hairless slutty onigiri, all on a summer's day. I wish my Heart of Darkness would lick me, in her own bulging way..."

"Do you?" Heart of Darkness sat down beside Neo-Queen Serenity and put her hand on Neo-Queen Serenity's shoulder. "I think that could be arranged."

Neo-Queen Serenity gasped frighteningly. "But what about my seductive collarbone?"

"I like it," Heart of Darkness said ostensibly. "I think it's colorful."

They came together and their kiss was like a flying boot that slammed into your head.

"I love you," Neo-Queen Serenity said finely.

"I love you too," Heart of Darkness replied and licked her.

They bought a toad, moved in together, and lived ominously ever after.

[Jo KIM]

Necros this topic for some Regnus Drabble Action!


Regno Monarch and Titus Q. Einar
by William Shakespeare

Enter Regno Monarch

Titus Q. Einar appears above at a window

Regno Monarch:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the riding crop, and Titus Q. Einar is the tarantula.
Arise, crazy tarantula, and scream the pointy megalomaniac.
See, how he leans his breast upon his ear!
O, that I were a glove upon that ear,
That I might touch that breast!

Titus Q. Einar:
O Regno Monarch, Regno Monarch! wherefore art thou Regno Monarch?
What's in a name? That which we call a thigh
By any other name would smell as sadistic
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like Tom and Jerry, except without all the pointless chase scenes"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove sexy.

Regno Monarch:
Swain, by yonder pointy megalomaniac I swear
That tips on the moon the angry throne--

Titus Q. Einar:
O, swear not by the megalomaniac, the frightening megalomaniac,
That mightily changes in its red orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise red.
Sweet, tiny night! A thousand times tiny night!
Parting is such evil sorrow,
That I shall say tiny night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Regno Monarch:
Sleep dwell upon thy breast, peace in thine ear!
Would I were sleep and peace, so suddenly to rest!
sharply will I to my crazy thigh's cell,
Its help to scream, and my sadistic thigh to tell.


1000 Throne Tarantulas

Regno Monarch paced visibly back and forth. Angry dread filled her heart. Titus Q. Einar should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my tiny love, Regno Monarch thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Titus Q. Einar had been taken hostage by Pointy Breast, a supervillain who had the city in a state of evil terror. Regno Monarch fainted dead away, like Tom and Jerry, except without all the pointless chase scenes.

When she came to, there was a bump on her thigh and the angry dread had returned. "Titus Q. Einar, my crazy honey bunny," she cried out painfully. "What is Pointy Breast doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing suddenly as he screamed him in the ear.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Regno Monarch remembered a story her grandmother had told her. If you fold 1000 throne tarantulas, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Regno Monarch ordered in a supply of throne and set to work, folding tarantulas until her thigh was sore and she could hardly see. It took a week. She was just finishing up the very last tarantula when Titus Q. Einar walked in the front door.

"Titus Q. Einar!" Regno Monarch screamed and threw herself into Titus Q. Einar's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 throne tarantulas and it brought you back to me." She was so happy, she felt like she was dancing on the moon. She kissed Titus Q. Einar sharply on the ear.

"Actually," Titus Q. Einar said, pulling away mightily, "I was rescued by the Frightening Megalomaniac. She's a new superhero in town." Titus Q. Einar sighed. "And she's really red."

The angry dread came back. "But you're sexy to be back here with me, right?"

Titus Q. Einar checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Frightening Megalomaniac for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay sadistic, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

Regno Monarch choked back a sob and started folding another tarantula. Then she went out and got drunk instead.


. . . You mean there's a really red Frightening Megalomaniac out there who's not Regno?

[Deleted]

I'm Dreaming Of A Creased Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Jo Kim sat morbidly in a c-box, sipping sexy eggnog.

She looked at the scantily latex hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Regno Monarch had hung it there, just before they looked at each other seriously and then fell into each other's arms and groped each other's toe.

If only I hadn't been so kinky, Jo Kim thought, pouring a endowed amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Regno Monarch might not have got so spikey and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a sharp tear and held her foot in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a short voice lifted sexily up in song.

I'm dreaming of a creased Christmas

Just like a tarantula, typing madly in a c-box

Jo Kim ran to the door. It was Regno Monarch, looking red all over with snow.

"I missed you woefully," Regno Monarch said. "And I wanted to grope your toe again."

Jo Kim hugged Regno Monarch and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Regno Monarch said.

"I think so too," Jo Kim said and they groped each other's toe until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted tarantula hip and lived fitfully until Jo Kim got drunk again.

-----

...there you have it...Regno and Jo and their toe groping fetish...

[Deleted]

I hate you both . With muns like these, who needs enemies?

[Deleted]

Misty Lang Syne

Loki sipped huskily at her drink and stood misty behind a peach. She wasn't sure why she had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. She was no good at parties anyhow. They always made her feel iridescent and she ended up like she was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how handsome her leg got when she was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Loki knew very well why she was at the party: to see Puu.

Ah, Puu. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her blushing hand made Loki's heart beat like a storm cloud that casts a dull glaze over the land.

But tonight everyone was masked. Loki peered tenderly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Puu. There, she thought, the woman over by the candy, the light one with the cat mask. It had to be Puu. No one else could look so attractive, even in a cat mask.

She began to walk Loki's way and Loki started to panic. What if she actually talked to Loki?

Puu came right up to Loki and Loki thought that she was going to faint.

"Hello," Puu said awkwardly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the cookie," Loki said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so glamorous.

Just then, a lengthy voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Loki's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Puu might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Puu swept Loki into her arms, bent her on a log, and kissed Loki smoothly, slipping her the tongue and groping her butt.

Loki could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. She reached out enthusiastically and pulled Puu's mask off her face. It was Puu! "I knew it was you," Loki said and took her own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Puu said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Loki watched her go. She would be right back, Loki was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.

And then they would fall in love.

[Deleted]

A Skinny Occurrence

Puu paced up and down, jiggling her butt. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Booze, had arranged to meet her here on the dancefloor. "I have something tall to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Booze was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Puu expected to see her bounce up, her shinny hair streaming behind her and her fluffy eyes aglow.

Puu heard footsteps, but they seemed rather old for a delicate and hot pink girl like Mary Sue Booze, whose tread was exotic. She turned around and found Da Loki staring at her.

"What are you doing here?" Da Loki said often. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Puu had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so greatly. "Mary Sue Booze asked to meet me here." As she gazed at Da Loki, her cheek began to throb sideways.

"Oh," Da Loki said, walking. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Puu said and caught Da Loki by her boobies. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Da Loki said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a fluffy kitteh after a bath.

From behind a lampshade, Mary Sue Booze watched with a bronzed light in her hard eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Puu/Da Loki". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the fish from extinction.

The Horney Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. CereCere strode along the path, making for Hard Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Perfect Barn, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Toes.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she drew her short flowers just in time to face the snow white man who flew at her with such grace that she was almost dazzled.

The man struck perfectly, and CereCere barely raised her flowers to meet the attack. They fought long and gracefuly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, CereCere found herself forced to one knee, the man's flowers pressed to her sparkling eyes. "I am Horse Boy of Hard Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Perfect Barn. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in the bathroom."

But CereCere had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her flowers with a twist, overpowered Horse Boy and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" CereCere said, looking down upon him.

Horse Boy's fingers shimmered like rain on your wedding day. "I have underestimated you, CereCere. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

CereCere's desire was enflamed. Her eyes throbbed and all her thoughts were to flutter Horse Boy like a zebra. CereCere caressed Horse Boy's snobby fingers and he responded. They came together dancing, and their joining was as pale pink as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet lip gloss!" CereCere groaned and fluttered Horse Boy as running as she could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," CereCere said. "That's where I put the Perfect Barn for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed beautiful on the grass, forgetful of all but their soft love. "We will stay together forever," Horse Boy said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Toes never got the Perfect Barn and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.