Post by Kylar ALANI on Dec 28, 2009 15:32:36 GMT -5
Hokay, so this is kinda off the wall, and it's not really focused on too much, but this is my drunken ramblings about Lord Zedd and Rita Repulsa having kids. To those that don't know of this duo, they are from the first two seasons of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. Look them up for a few references if you're still confused. Well... enjoy. *NOTE* If any are offended by the bit at the end, I'm sorry. It is not my intention.
I’m very confused at how Lord Zedd and Rita Repulsa had a child. I mean, if you think about it, he always wore a chastity belt and she always had a headache. I’d say that’s a prime example of a sexless marriage. God, could you imagine being married to Rita? That screeching voice yelling day and night… I bet Rita’s a screamer in the sack, but you’d probably scream if you had Zedd on top of you.
That does bring us back to my original statement. According to the Operation Overdrive series, Zedd and Rita (Or as I like to call them, the Ricky and Lucy Ricardo of Evil) had a kid who mysteriously was an adult, even at fifteen. Perhaps alien DNA allows their children to mature faster… whatever. Anyway, the point is, this ugly creature claimed to be their son. Last we really see of Rita and Zedd before they get washed in the blood of Zordon, they’re in a Winnebago, flying across the Universe…. Why am I reminded of Space Balls?
Back on track, this kid named Thrax or something like that, fights the rangers and loses, like all villains do. He honestly doesn’t do his parents any justice by failing and being destroyed within two episodes. Zedd and Rita survived, I think, ten seasons. Their “special” child fails, though it might not be entirely his fault, as Operation Overdrive was badly written with many plot points unnecessary. He might just never have had a chance.
Another thing about Zedd, the dude had no skin. He just had muscles and an adamantium skeleton. How did he not bleed on everything? And yes, he did have blood. What do you think those tubes were for in his skeleton? You’d think he’d leave little red stains on his throne at least. And if he and Rita did succeed in having sex, what’s to stop her cones from poking into Zedd’s exposed muscular structure and causing more bleeding?
What about his head? That’s the one of the weirdest masks I’ve ever seen! That visor is just strange, changing from red to black and back again. That giant horn with the “Z” on the tip makes me think he’s compensating for something. He does have one thing going for him, though. He was most likely the first one to sport grills. Little did he know what kind of trend he would start.
Enough about Zedd, let’s talk about Rita. The witch is over 10,000 years old! How does she still have any means of fertility left, especially after living in a dumpster? She’s not exactly the freshest chicken in the fridge, which is one reason she had to trick Zedd into marrying her by feeding a love potion into his veins. It worked wonders, however, as Finster – their monster creator and, apparently, an ordained minister – married the two in wedded bliss. What a wonderful day for Evil as we find out that, somehow, Lord Zedd is Jewish. I still haven’t figured that one out. But evil Jews out to destroy the world? Awesome.
Anyway, the fun didn’t last as Rita slowly began to regret her decision. Honestly, though, where would she have gone? There’s no one out there who’d want her. She honestly couldn’t do better than Zedd and vice versa, which is very sad for evil. So Rita and Zedd settle into their unhappy wedded lives. They can’t destroy the world; they can’t get rid of the in-laws; they can’t get anything right.
Apparently, sometime during this depressing saga, they decide to have a kid, and succeed. We’re back to the question of how. Even if it was by normal means, too many things don’t add up. Maybe he was made in the lab? Finster was an expert monster creator. Perhaps they went to his store and picked out the one they wanted. That would be a great story to tell the kid as he grows up. Imagine the look on his face when they told him he didn’t technically have a birth, so he couldn’t have a birthday. And since Zedd is Jewish, they don’t celebrate Christmas, so the kid gets crappy presents because of Chanukah. There’s no reason to celebrate Easter, either, as there are no bunnies in space. So we’re leaving their kid with Valentine’s Day and Halloween. Considering how ugly this kid is, he’s not getting any Valentine’s Day cards, and he doesn’t have to dress up for Halloween. It’s no wonder their kid was so screwed up.
I’m very confused at how Lord Zedd and Rita Repulsa had a child. I mean, if you think about it, he always wore a chastity belt and she always had a headache. I’d say that’s a prime example of a sexless marriage. God, could you imagine being married to Rita? That screeching voice yelling day and night… I bet Rita’s a screamer in the sack, but you’d probably scream if you had Zedd on top of you.
That does bring us back to my original statement. According to the Operation Overdrive series, Zedd and Rita (Or as I like to call them, the Ricky and Lucy Ricardo of Evil) had a kid who mysteriously was an adult, even at fifteen. Perhaps alien DNA allows their children to mature faster… whatever. Anyway, the point is, this ugly creature claimed to be their son. Last we really see of Rita and Zedd before they get washed in the blood of Zordon, they’re in a Winnebago, flying across the Universe…. Why am I reminded of Space Balls?
Back on track, this kid named Thrax or something like that, fights the rangers and loses, like all villains do. He honestly doesn’t do his parents any justice by failing and being destroyed within two episodes. Zedd and Rita survived, I think, ten seasons. Their “special” child fails, though it might not be entirely his fault, as Operation Overdrive was badly written with many plot points unnecessary. He might just never have had a chance.
Another thing about Zedd, the dude had no skin. He just had muscles and an adamantium skeleton. How did he not bleed on everything? And yes, he did have blood. What do you think those tubes were for in his skeleton? You’d think he’d leave little red stains on his throne at least. And if he and Rita did succeed in having sex, what’s to stop her cones from poking into Zedd’s exposed muscular structure and causing more bleeding?
What about his head? That’s the one of the weirdest masks I’ve ever seen! That visor is just strange, changing from red to black and back again. That giant horn with the “Z” on the tip makes me think he’s compensating for something. He does have one thing going for him, though. He was most likely the first one to sport grills. Little did he know what kind of trend he would start.
Enough about Zedd, let’s talk about Rita. The witch is over 10,000 years old! How does she still have any means of fertility left, especially after living in a dumpster? She’s not exactly the freshest chicken in the fridge, which is one reason she had to trick Zedd into marrying her by feeding a love potion into his veins. It worked wonders, however, as Finster – their monster creator and, apparently, an ordained minister – married the two in wedded bliss. What a wonderful day for Evil as we find out that, somehow, Lord Zedd is Jewish. I still haven’t figured that one out. But evil Jews out to destroy the world? Awesome.
Anyway, the fun didn’t last as Rita slowly began to regret her decision. Honestly, though, where would she have gone? There’s no one out there who’d want her. She honestly couldn’t do better than Zedd and vice versa, which is very sad for evil. So Rita and Zedd settle into their unhappy wedded lives. They can’t destroy the world; they can’t get rid of the in-laws; they can’t get anything right.
Apparently, sometime during this depressing saga, they decide to have a kid, and succeed. We’re back to the question of how. Even if it was by normal means, too many things don’t add up. Maybe he was made in the lab? Finster was an expert monster creator. Perhaps they went to his store and picked out the one they wanted. That would be a great story to tell the kid as he grows up. Imagine the look on his face when they told him he didn’t technically have a birth, so he couldn’t have a birthday. And since Zedd is Jewish, they don’t celebrate Christmas, so the kid gets crappy presents because of Chanukah. There’s no reason to celebrate Easter, either, as there are no bunnies in space. So we’re leaving their kid with Valentine’s Day and Halloween. Considering how ugly this kid is, he’s not getting any Valentine’s Day cards, and he doesn’t have to dress up for Halloween. It’s no wonder their kid was so screwed up.
